Well, things worked out with Topper. Thank God! That horse means so much to me now, and I just don't know what I will do without him. He is the first horse I have felt comfortable at a trot. He is the first horse I CANTERED(OMG!) on! I never thought I would finally get to that point that I could say that! It is such an amazing feeling, to see this goofy ole horse, and know that I cantered on him. I threw away my fears long enough to canter on him. And soon I will get to trot on him bare-back. And I know I will be able to do it. Its just amazing...

But anyway, I will also be in Kentucky this week! Finally! I have waited a long time to get to go to kentucky, and its coming true! I will be gone from the 15th till the 20th! I will miss my baby girls though But they will be taken care of. Wish me luck!

Well, big thanks to the only one to comment on Topper getting hurt. Feels nice to know I have such good friends here... but anyway, like all good things, nothing ever stays good in my life. Every good situation gets thrown in my face.

I went out to see Topper for the last time on Saturday. The girl has been making every excuse in the book lately, that she can't go up. And I talked to the barn owner, and she has been up every day. First it was "I have a social worker coming" then "I'm sick"<-- which I understand this one, as I was too and it was going around at this time. "I have a birthday party" next wednesday- "I have a 5:30 interview" - Ok, I am not coming till after 6, so how long does your interview take?? Then saturday "I have a cousins b-day party" Yes, the very next week. Then I texted her to go yesterday, and nothing back. So Its over with of course.

I am just ready to be done. I am so sick of being let down.

Well, I knew it had to happen eventually. The event that makes your heart actually stop, and the disbelief to set in so fast, your blood runs cold...

Last night, I went to beaming and left at six to go to my lessons. Picked Cassie up and drove to the barn. It was a glorious day, warm and breezy. As we pulled in, Cassie saw the tractor inside the outdoor arena, and got really excited. The outdoor was open! She absolutely hates the indoor. So we practically ran inside to get Topper to get him outside. She led him outside with his lunge rope and tack bucket in tow.

We got outside, and let him run. The tractor was still in the pen, but was shoved up right next to the fence, and the outdoor is huge. And Topper never spooks at it. So he was running around, bucking and kicking out, having a blast. He was so happy! Then he ran towards the tractor, and Cassie scared him off. Well, she was further away when he ran towards it again... He thought he could fit in the gap between the tractor and the fence, but couldn't. He got caught, then when trying to back up, he got his foot stuck in the drag, and wrestled it for a few moments, while we stood there, just watching this horrific event happen, then he straightened himself out and got out.

We didn't think he was hurt then, but Cassie tried getting him to slow down so we could see him, but he took off again-very unlike Topper. Then I heard Cassie wail, and I looked and saw it. He had a massive gouge down the muscle and bone in his shoulder, and it was pouring blood down his leg. Cassie was spazzing way too much to be calm, so I had to be. I called him in, and he came and stood by me while she ran to the barns owners house. They came running out, and the husband went inside to call the vet, while their son moved the tractor out of the arena. The man came back, told us that the vet on call was on an emergency and would be a few hours!!

So we moved Topper into the barn, since it was getting windy. Then we sat there with him and waited. Cassie's mom came and sat with us. I just couldn't leave, and Cassie didn't want me too either. Thank god her mom was calm, because at that point I had to let it out so I had to leave Cassie and I didn't want to leave her alone. I called my mom to let her now, and the waiting began. This happened at about 6:30 and the vet showed up at 10:20. It was the longest wait of my life. Me and cassie switched off on holding Topper. He was such a brave boy, and stood their so paitently. Towards the end, he wanted to lay down so bad, and he did a half rear to get out of her hands-opening up the wound more. But we got him calmed down again.

It was so scary, and I know it could have been a ton worse, but man, I hope to never go through that again. He has to take 28 pills a day, for 10 days! Thats 280 pills! And bute. She thinks he bruised it as well. So I didn't take my accuplacer test as my nerves were too fried, and I didnt get home till 1 am.

Just wanted to update my journal. Things are doing ok The girl is still giving me lessons, and it has been absolutely wonderful. I am learning to control the horse while trotting currently, and I have to say, I am so sore! I am also learning lunging, and just so much. We are out there for 3+ hours at times(not riding the whole time!) and the girl is very open to me leasing him when I am ready. I just love this horse! Plus, she has another horse that she can work with, so I dont feel as bad. Its just a perfect situation!!!

Also, I got some pets of my own. Two darling little rat girls. They are a year old now(Nov. 14th!!). Their names are Penelope and Kate. They are just hilarious to watch, and really helps me calm down after work. You just can't stay mad when you watch them run around and explore. And Little Kate just loves me. She crawls all over me, when she has the option to explore. Penelope will snuggle too, but very sparingly.

Also got a new camera, a Nikon D40, something I have wanted for a long time. Now I just have to work out how to use it, and start getting out there and expanding my photography. Pictures of the girls are coming soon too!

I really need to sit back, and start to realize that things dont always happen on our schedules. I was very upset about the Joker situation, and was not willing to think of going back to horses. But a few very good friends really helped me through( and )Thanks you guys! So I called up my old coworker, and told her. I was still upset, but thankfully I didn't know him too well. At least there is that much.

So anyway, Chris(coworker) texted me back one day. Her daughter is now giving me lessons for $10 an hour! And we might even work out a lease when I get comfortable going out alone. Best part is, is that her daughter has been an excellent teacher so far. I feel so relaxed around her, and the horse(topper). I went for my first lesson yesterday, and she taught me some parelli. Cassie(her daughter) wants me to join/bond with Topper first, before I even get on, and I agree with her 100 %. I got to lunge for the first time, and it may not seem like much, but it was amazing. We did the 7 games, and I got to try them too. Topper is such a sweetie, and calm as ever. Joker was really ansty. So I really think this was meant to me. Everything about it just fell in place. And I can tell my mom about this! That was the major thing bugging me about Joker. I couldn't make myself tell my mom. So I am really glad that Joker didn't work out, and this came instead.

For everything there is a season!